the lethal brother of war: hatred

there is a level of cruelty in war that goes beyond the shelling and the bombs, the killing and the massacre. when i learned about it in history class, from the comfort of a school bench, i shook my head on the ignorance and stupidity, on the short-sightedness of people. war creates fear among people. i understand. i do not know the feeling – i am lucky, i suppose – but i do understand on a rational level how the threat of death and cruelty can lead to fear.

but it is this fear then that gives birth to the lethal brother of war: hatred. and while i claim to understand, again rationally and not emotionally, how this reaction might be triggered, i can only deny the option that follows, both emotionally and rationally: a scapegoat solution is not a solution. blaming one group in a heterogenous country for the loss of life, the increasing threat, and the cruelty happening around each and every woman, man and child, is not a solution. taking one example of this group, which ever one has been chosen to carry the cross of ‘fault’, to be the representative against each and every one of ‘their kind’, and concluding from individual choices to the rationale of an entire people, is not a solution. on the contrary. hatred is the nurturing ground for long lasting conflict. it can lead all the way to the point that no one knows anymore why they are fighting in the first place but they keep on doing it because there is an irrational feeling stirring them: hatred. once reason leaves the stage to blind rage and ignorant anger, there is no going back without each side having to bow to their deepest pride and losing face. tell me, when in history has this ever happened?

the friction between arabs and kurds is long. history casts a dark shadow over yesterday, today and tomorrow. and it is not fair to demand the high road from the ones, while the others have had chances of satisfying their thirst for what they think is right or duty. but blaming a whole entity, each woman, child and man for history only breeds a deeper hatred within the seeds of their following generations. ‘remember when they did this to us?’, the mother says to her unborn son. ‘no mother, i do not. i was not alive.’, would be the correct answer. but instead the bonds of family have taught us to seek revenge for all our blood, of all our generations, and so the boy answers ‘yes mother.’ – ask yourself: where does this end?

it is today that we set the direction that we walk towards tomorrow. so it is today that we should think about where we are walking. and if fear is what we feel today, think ahead, along the road that is to come. the biggest accomplishment of human kind, in my opinion, is the ability to think ahead and to guide our actions today accordingly. and the biggest danger of fear is that it prevents our minds from doing just that. short term thinking takes over. quick solutions become attractive. tomorrow is not in the cards anymore. and then it is tomorrow that becomes our biggest threat.

portraying hatred against all arabs within the borders of the kurdish territory is too easy a solution. the fear of sleeping cells, of terrorists, of undercover isis must be excruciating. but fear alone does not kill. and every innocent arab that is treated badly without him or her having deserved it, a generation is created that will keep breeding hatred and will keep coming back ‘yes mother’ – only this is truly lethal.

instead, it is kindness that we need in the moments of biggest turmoil. trust and support are what kills suspicion and hatred. and even the few who believe in the ideology of the islamic state (isis) might just come to their senses when observing the cruelty of the one side, proclaiming rightfulness and slaughtering people and with them all rights of god, good and humanity, compared to the strength deriving from believe and kindness towards each- and everyone who joins their circle of the other side.

i hate to be the little fairy, sparkling gold magic powder over times of war, proclaiming love and kindness. i like to think of my self as realist! but then it was my rationale thinking, trying to figure out not how to solve the problem today but how to avoid consequences for tomorrow that led me to this understanding. hatred breeds hatred. no one needs to love every other person around them, but dare to treat them with respect and kindness. because there is simply no other way for the long run.

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